Popcorn Supplies ‘Dangerously Low’ As Nation Awaits Mueller Testimony Before Congress

Food industry experts have warned that the country is woefully unprepared in terms of popcorn supplies for what it is currently facing.

“We had just enough to get through Michael Cohen’s testimony, but that’s about it.”

The problem, they say, is that much more popcorn will be needed for the digestion of the Mueller testimony before a House committee and its effect on the White House.

“That’s a whole lot a of popcorn.”

Attempts to source more popcorn from other countries proved futile, with the United Kingdom also trying to get hold of any that’s going.

“They say they are running low too, and need everything they have as their follow their own train wrecks like Brexit and the prospect of Boris Johnson as Prime Minister.”

People are being advised to turn to other snacks if possible. Failing that, it might become necessary to dip into the strategic popcorn reserve that was established in the wake of the Iran-Contra affair.

“Unfortunately the only person who can issue the order is El Cheetoh himself.”

2 Comments on "Popcorn Supplies ‘Dangerously Low’ As Nation Awaits Mueller Testimony Before Congress"

  1. Elizabeth Phipps | February 27, 2019 at 1:49 pm | Reply

    Love it! my mind went to Iran/Contra when I read the headline.

  2. Michael Buzzelli | February 27, 2019 at 12:47 pm | Reply

    This is hilarious!

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