Popcorn Supplies ‘Dangerously Low’ As Nation Settles In For Mueller Report Fallout

Food industry experts have warned that the country is woefully unprepared in terms of popcorn supplies for what it is currently facing.

“We had just enough to get through Michael Cohen’s testimony, but that’s about it.”

The problem, they say, is that much more popcorn will be needed for the digestion of the Mueller report and President Trump’s eventual downfall.

“That’s a whole lot a of popcorn.”

Attempts to source more popcorn from other countries proved futile.

“They say they are running low too, and need everything they have.”

People are being advised to turn to other snacks if possible. Failing that, it might become necessary to dip into the strategic popcorn reserve that was established in the wake of the Iran-Contra affair.

“Unfortunately the only person who can issue the order is El Cheetoh himself.”

2 Comments on "Popcorn Supplies ‘Dangerously Low’ As Nation Settles In For Mueller Report Fallout"

  1. Elizabeth Phipps | February 27, 2019 at 1:49 pm | Reply

    Love it! my mind went to Iran/Contra when I read the headline.

  2. Michael Buzzelli | February 27, 2019 at 12:47 pm | Reply

    This is hilarious!

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