Pope Francis Steals Republican Playbook By Offering Thoughts & Prayers In Response To Crisis

"Don't worry - there's plenty for everyone!"

Pope Francis responded to the continuing crisis of priest sexual abuse in the Catholic Church today, urging his bishops in the United States to offer their very best thoughts and prayers.

“Break out the good stuff, my fellow travelers in Christ.”

Though many assumed the Pontiff came up with the idea because he is head of his own religion, Francis say he actually got the idea of offering thoughts and prayers from following US politics.

“When children are suffering horribly or dying, this is the appropriate response, yes?”

While some people urged Francis to do more, including taking some actions that actually have a tangible form here on Earth, he maintained he knew what he was doing.

“If this plays out anything like an American school shooting, all will be back to normal in a few days.”

1 Comment on "Pope Francis Steals Republican Playbook By Offering Thoughts & Prayers In Response To Crisis"

  1. Smart guy, taking his followers back to the 8th century!

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