Four-year-old child prodigy Edward Sears, an avid reader from Swissvale with an IQ estimated to be in the mid 200s, always makes things interesting for his parents, but especially so at Halloween. They freely admit they have no idea where their little man’s superlative intelligence came from.
“He was always very advanced from the moment he was born. Us – not so much.”
Last Halloween they tried to get him to dress as a superhero to better fit in with other kids from neighborhood, but he was resistant, preferring to go dressed as 19th century literary titan William Makepeace Thackeray.
“He eventually agreed to go as a ghost, but only on the understanding that it was the Spirit from Hamlet.”
They realize it’s critically important for young Edward’s psychological development that he continue to believe his parents are all knowing for now. That’s why they are constantly taking note of what he is reading, and then pretend they have work to do so they can speed-read the book themselves.
“Currently we’re working our way through Aldous Huxley’s Eyeless In Gaza. It’s good. Very hard going, but good. Unfortunately the Cliff notes aren’t very detailed.”
They’ve given up trying to control his choices and now let him go in whatever Halloween costume he wants. This year he has decided to go trick-or-treating as Truman Capote, which meant they had to let him know something they had been trying to shield from him up until now.
“Not every grown-up knows all there is to know about Truman Capote like you do, son. And us too, of course.”
But instead of being upset, Edward has taken it upon himself to fill the gaping holes in the education of those who don’t recognize his costume this October 31st. His parents couldn’t be more proud.
“It’s so enriching to have a genius child to take around the neighborhood to highlight our adult friends’ and neighbors’ literary deficiencies. Of course we’d also love him if he were an average child who wanted to dress up as a firefighter and yell ‘I see smoke!’ every ten seconds. We could be happy with that too. Really happy.”
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