President Says Tax Returns Were Tragically Destroyed In Trump Tower Fire

Following a fire at Trump Tower in New York City, the President has revealed that his tax returns for the last 50 years were completely destroyed in the blaze.

“They were all stored there in a box marked ‘Money Stuff’ so now they are gone forever. Sad!”

Trump says the timing couldn’t have been worse.

“I was just about to release them too! Shame. Guess you can stop asking now.”

In addition to his tax returns, all the records from his successful 2016 campaign were lost as well.

“If only I’d turned them over to the Mueller investigation they would still be safe.”

7 Comments on "President Says Tax Returns Were Tragically Destroyed In Trump Tower Fire"

  1. Elvin Stewart | April 9, 2018 at 4:14 am | Reply

    The Heart of the Nation is rent with Loss as ‘Dear Leaders’ financials arises on a smoky pillar to be retweeted in the ‘Ear of the Deity’by a hand-picked ‘Personal Messenger’. Babes will wail at their Mother’s Breast. So will DJ Tramp. Great Construction! Only ‘half a dozen’ firefighters injured! Housekeeping is instructed to provide a 5 gal bucket of ‘grey water’ in each unit to alleviate any emergency. A ‘Tramp’ supporter proudly proclaims “If it says ‘Tramp’ on it, you don’t have to think about how ‘bad’ it would be!”

  2. Not one single sane person believe the president and his JACKASSERY,the only people who believe this is the insane and demented people. The president is the ultimate liar and for no reason. Sad

  3. Sad!

  4. Good excuse Trump

  5. Oh how sad what to do now???

  6. Lol. Not true, but even if it were, his CPA’s and the IRS have copies.

  7. Sounds about right!

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