President Trump Assures Nervous World ‘Fire & Fury’ Is Just His Heavy Metal Side Project

The world is resting easier today after President Trump made clear that ‘Fire and Fury’ is just the name of his band that he plays with to relax.

“Obviously I wasn’t threatening North Korea with immediate military action – that would be lunacy!”

Instead he says he was jokingly threatening to subject Kim Jong-un and other senior North Korean officials to his own brand of aging heavy metal.

“I figured that would get their attention – of course being North Korea they might just like it!”

Experts in international diplomacy, who were so horrified yesterday when they mistook Trump’s off-the-cuff remarks as nuclear sabre-rattling by a political neophyte, said they now approve.

“Threatening to expose the rogue North Korean regime to poorly executed Kiss covers by a group of flabby seventy-year-olds in tight pants does seem like an appropriate sanction.”

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