Trump Begs James Comey To Come Back To FBI In Return To Good Old Days

In a stark about-face, President Trump spent this evening desperately trying to get hold of fired FBI Director James Comey to persuade him to come back and return everything to the way it was a week ago.

“Big misunderstanding. Hunger pangs. Hunger pangs to blame. Nobody was meant to be fired. Except Michael Flynn. He’s bad. Just like you said. You’re were right all along, Comey. Please call. Please. Pretty please.”

Trump emphatically denied through his press secretary Sean Spicer that there was any connection between his turnaround and the shock appointment of hard-nosed Robert Mueller as Special Counsel to investigate possible collusion between Trump’s election campaign and the Russians.

“Really? Neither I nor the President had heard about that yet. But with Comey returning to continue his Russian investigation as FBI Director there’s really no need for someone as competent as Robert Mueller to be involved anymore. I mean forgot that-Holocaust-let’s talk about the Holocaust.”

Comey, however, has not responded, leaving the White House in a state of panic. At last word Trump was hunched over in a corner of the Oval Office muttering the same phrase over and over.

“Comey come home. Comey come home. Comey come home. Comey come home. Comey come home.”

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