President Trump Declares His Missile Strike Best In All Of History

President Trump has declared his latest missile strike on the Syrian regime of Bashar al-Assad a success, even going so far as to declare it the best missile strike in history.

“Nobody strikes with a missile better than me.”

Trump didn’t limit his praise to his own brilliance, but also commended the missiles for exploding, and the targets for being there.

“Without their support, my missile strikes wouldn’t have nearly as great as they were, which is to say really really great.”

Trump then enumerated a list of missile strikes that were ‘sad, so sad’ compared to his, including those by Obama, Clinton, and all the ordinance dropped during the Korean and both World Wars.

“I’m not even mentioning Vietnam, because we lost. Fail!”

He was, however, complimentary about Ronald Reagan’s missile strikes on Libya in the 1980s.

“Not bad, though nowhere near as good as mine, obviously.”

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