Proving the security of the nation he is charged with protecting is never off his mind, President Donald Trump has taken the bull down-under by the horns and adopted a highly aggressive posture against that historic enemy of the USA known as Australia.

While less savvy military experts have been fooled into seeing resurgent Russian Imperialism, China’s rapidly growing strength, and the nuclear ambitions of Iran and North Korea as the main threats, Trump has shown a capacity to understand the world in a way no-else can – identifying the evil antipodean nation as the wolf in sheep’s clothing that must be tamed.

In what’s being described as the greatest false flag operation in history, Australia has been hiding its nefarious intentions for decades by presenting to love barbeque, wearing silly hats with corks attached, and not possessing nuclear weapons. It has even gone so far as to maintain a modest population of 23 million to make itself seem less threatening. Fortunately, this Commander in Chief knows better.

Realizing that all bullies must be stood up to straight away if they are to be discouraged from their wicked ways, Trump has also seen fit to target that vast military threat to our south – Mexico – before it gets too strong and overruns the USA in a repeat of Hitler’s blitzkreig takeover of Poland.

Godspeed, Mister President.