President Trump Makes Louis C.K. Nation’s First Stand-Up Laureate

Image credit: 'Louis C.K.' by Flickr user Peabody Awards license CC BY 2.0.

Saying it was time he paid more attention to honoring the arts, President Trump today announced he was appointing a new talent he stumbled upon to a prestigious position.

“I am pleased to announce Louis C.K. as the first Stand-Up Comic Laureate of the United States.”

Though people will be more familiar with the position of Poet Laureate, Trump said poetry is for losers and he is not interesting in promoting that role.

“Or I may appoint myself Poet Laureate, as I am excellent at organizing words into short unconventional passages, and even making up new ones. Covfefe!”

During the award citation for Louis C.K., Trump emphasized the comic’s remarkable recovery from recent struggles to find his voice again.

“No-one mocks a Parkland high school shooting survivor quite like this wonderful man. Sorry, Laura Ingraham, but you’ve been outclassed!”

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