President Trump To Be Promoted To Rank Of Major In Advance Of Military Parade

With a military parade now being planned for later in the year, the Pentagon today announced that President Trump is to receive a significant military promotion in advance of its taking place.

Though as Commander-in-Chief he controls all the armed forces, this is not technically a military rank, and he currently holds the lowly rank of Cadet.

Pentagon planners felt he should have a higher military rank if he is to ceremonially receive the salute at a full-blown parade.

“Hitler was a Corporal after all.”

US Army Chief of Staff General Mark A. Milley confirmed he is preparing to grant Trump a commission as a field officer.

“As of next week the President is promoted from Cadet Bonespur to Major Dodge.”

Some had been pushing for a bigger promotion to the rank of General Deferment, but military brass felt that was too much.

“Maybe next year.”

2 Comments on "President Trump To Be Promoted To Rank Of Major In Advance Of Military Parade"

  1. 5 time deferment Trump is being give the rank of WHAT? This man is a disgrace and to give him a rank is insulting anyone who ever wore the uniform colors of the U S A. Are the troops going to goose step down Pennsylvania Ave. As one expert said and I paraphrase. We should allow at least one Russian troop in the parade, since that’s what we need to get used to.

  2. Charles A Meade Jr | February 8, 2018 at 4:25 pm | Reply

    God Bless America should be changed to
    God Help America because we are acting dumb
    Charles A Meade Jrer every day under the leadership of the worlds greatest genius. A military rank would be an insult to all the men who died during the Vietnam War in place of the worlds greatest draft dodger.

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