U.S. Customs and Border Protection have announced that commissioned designs for President Trump’s border wall are to undergo a two-month process to test their mettle by exposing them to a wide variety of punishments.
The eight prototype wall sections will be subjected to a wide variety of insults, including sledgehammers, axes, and seeing Steve Bannon up close.
“Obviously as a keen supporter of the wall Steve does not pose a threat but there could be a Mexican version of him with other intentions.”
Bannon will stand next to all the walls for up to an hour at a time, which has been known to topple structures and is fatal for humans.
“We’re also guessing his breath is quite corrosive, which could be kryptonite to the designs based on concrete.”
Also participating in the testing is millennial favorite Bernie Sanders. Though Sanders is vigorously opposed to the wall, he believes if it does end up being built it should be done right which is why he agreed to assist in the evaluation.
“Any prototype that can withstand the repeated impacts of Bernie’s arms as he delivers a tirade on the need to break up the banks in front of it is sure to progress to the next round.”
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