(Punxsutawney, PA) Today is Groundhog Day, which is when the down-to-earth residents of Western Pennsylvania turn to a clairvoyant small mammal to find out what the weather is going to be like for the new few months.

The groundhog, who goes by Phil, is well aware that he is not as popular as he used to be. In this internet age of total information, people expect more details than he has customarily provided.

“Shadow/No Shadow just doesn’t cut it anymore in today’s competitive forecasting environment.”

The knowing woodchuck says he must set the bar even higher for himself than if he were a human meteorologist.

“Sex sells, and some of these local weather forecasters are pretty easy on the eyes.”

What this means, according to the world’s only climatologist who is also a whistlepig, is that he has to do an even better job than everyone else to impress all those viewers who aren’t attracted to fur.

“I accept the challenge.”