Putin To Demand Trump End His Affair With Kim Jong-un When They Meet In Finland

Despite having been advised that exclusive long distance relationships are almost certainly doomed to fail, Russian Premier Vladimir Putin is determined not to throw in the towel when it comes to his longtime romance with President Trump, despite whisperings of rampant infidelity.

The first signs of trouble in the relationship began when Putin heard through a friend that Trump had been seeing Filipino leader Rodrigo Duterte, with whom he reportedly bonded over a joint interest in executing anyone with a drug conviction. Trump denied being unfaithful in any real sense.

“Maybe we had some fun together but it meant nothing to me.”

The same can hardly be said of Trump’s involvement with North Korea’s Kim Jong-un however, whom he unashamedly wooed over many months to the point where they are even rumored to have developed affectionate nicknames for each other. Putin reportedly viewed that as the last straw.

“I gave him everything, and this is how he repays me.”

The Russian leader has let their mutual friends know he won’t tolerate it, and they may have to pick between them if Trump refuses to promise to stop seeing other autocrats when they meet in Finland. However relationship experts say it’s entirely possible that Trump will smooth over the cracks and convince Putin everything is okay without committing to breaking it off with the North Korean despot.

“He has a way of sweet-talking murderous dictators that is undeniable.”

1 Comment on "Putin To Demand Trump End His Affair With Kim Jong-un When They Meet In Finland"

  1. Hahaha!!!!! Love it!!!!!

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