Putin Practicing ‘Surprised’ Face For When He Hears Ukraine Has Attacked Russian Border Troops

MOSCOW BRIEF: Russian Premiere Vladimir Putin cleared his calendar today after reportedly being dissatisfied with his ‘surprised’ face which he expects to use in the coming days or weeks. Though Putin is long skilled in pulling a suitable look of astonishment whenever one of his critics falls out of a window or gets poisoned with nerve agent, he felt he needed to do better when the supposedly shocking event was an attack by another nation on Russian border troops. Leading clowns with the Moscow State Circus have been brought in to work on his expression of complete surprise and astonishment. All false flag operations have been temporarily postponed in the interim.

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