Russian President Vladimir Putin took a moment in his busy schedule today to express his deepest sympathies regarding the accidental death of the next person who attempts to challenge his vice-like grip on Russian State apparatus.

“Unfortunately nobody could have foreseen this terrible accident that’s going to occur to whomever it turns out to be.”

The deceased is believed to be a Russian national who will take a political stand against Putin sometime in the future.

“I extend my deepest sympathies to his or her family, should he or she happen to have one.“

Putin is said to have gotten used to the press blaming him for the untimely deaths of his opponents, and he expects this case will be no different when it transpires.

“I can assure you that whenever this person dies there will be no evidence of foul play, and I will be somewhere else entirely attending whatever is listed in my diary at that time.”