(London, UK) There were dramatic scenes at Buckingham Palace today, as senior servants of the Crown struggled to implement succession plans far more abruptly that they ever thought would be necessary.
The cause of their concern started when the Queen learned that President Trump was due to return to the United Kingdom for a full State visit.
“She just said ‘That’s it – I’m done’ without hesitation.”
The long-reigning Monarch has steadfastly refused suggestions that she step aside early up until now. However that changed when she realized she was duty bound as long as she was queen to entertain the American President, which was something she could expect to have to do again and again as long as she remained the British head of state.
“Someone tell my eldest son Charles that it’s time. It’s time right now.”
Her advisers tried to persuade Her Royal Highness to wait and see if she felt differently later. But the Queen was adamant that she would not be stuck in the presence of President Trump ever again.
“I’m the last living leader who served in the Second World War. I don’t need this.”
After expressing understandable but mistaken concern that his mother had fallen ill, Prince Charles seemed visibly pleased at learning that he was about to ascend to the throne – until he realized who he would have to host.
“I changed my mind – someone tell Wills he’s up.”