A well-known national sports show host has had the crushing realization that he has been getting genuinely angry and over-emotional for years over nothing.
“This has been a humbling experience, I can tell you.”
The blinding insight was brought on by a visit to his physician, who asked if there was any stress in his life that could explain his sky-high blood pressure.
“None. I have a great family, lots of friends, and money to burn.”
When his physician dug deeper, the man revealed he did get flustered at work, despite it involving siting in a comfortable studio chair and talking about matters of absolutely no importance.
“It was then when I realized I was angry all the time. About sports. SPORTS!”
He says the life-threatening levels of rage he works himself into might have made some sense if he was an actual member of a sports team battling to win on the field.
“But I’m not even playing the game. I don’t have a vested interest in the outcome. I GET PAID WHOEVER WINS FOR GOD’S SAKE!”
He does lay some blame with the callers, who, just like him, are not on any of the sports teams he discusses on his show, and yet are nevertheless inexplicably enraged more often that not.
“Why are they so angry? Why am I so angry? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT ALL THIS ANGER IS FOR?”
He takes the majority of the blame for the insane levels of fury on his show though, as he usually doesn’t let his callers speak for any appreciable length of time.
“What’s the point of a call-in show if all I do is shout down anyone who dares to express an opinion that doesn’t echo mine exactly. Then it’s just me ranting for no reason about nothing of consequence. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF THAT?”
UPDATE: When he brought his concerns to the network that employs him, he was informed that if he changes anthing, he’s fired.