(Pittsburgh, PA) Protesters took to the streets of downtown Pittsburgh today in support of the rights of small penis owners, who they say are being targeted unfairly by the Peduto administration.
“We have a constitutional right to compensate for our diminutive phalluses.”
The protesters openly displayed evidence of their deep-seated fears of inadequacy as they delivered speeches in front of the City-County building.
“You will take my repressed anxiety over being a total failure away from me over my dead body!”
Counter-protests were also held by people with large, medium, small, and absent penises who felt that no special protections are required and you should just deal with how you were made.
“These guys need to stop being so god-damned afraid of everything.”