(Lagos) Nigerian businessman Jonathan Obikwelu expressed dismay today over fears he may never get his multi-million dollar personal fortune out of the country so he can spend it how he wishes. Born to a royal family in Ondo, Obikwelu is a genuine Nigerian Prince who is heir to a multimillion dollar cashew fortune, which he would love to get out of the still-corrupt nation so he can do good works.
“Unfortunately as long as I and my fortune are trapped here I am limited in what I can do. Since I have no credit history in the West I cannot even open a checking account to realize my dreams.”
He’s tried reaching out to social media friends in the United States he knew from his Harry Potter Facebook groups, even promising them a substantial percentage of his fortune if they would help.
“I know it seems like a lot just to initiate a simple bank transfer but at this point I’m desperate so it’s worth it to me.”
But they all refused, even going so far as to instantly unfriend him. So great are his difficulties convincing people to help him, Obikwelu has even resorted to emailing random strangers in the United States whose contact information he finds on the internet – all to no avail.
“I received some nice responses from elderly people in your mid-western States, but they aren’t very good with international wire transfers as they keep writing the routing codes down incorrectly. What I need is someone more internet savvy.”
Obikwelu asks anyone wishing to help to please email him at [email protected]