Chris McCann of the eBible Fellowship has predicted that the World will be annihilated on Wednesday October 7th, 2015. Obviously we have absolute faith in his prophesy that the End of the World is upon us, so here are Breaking Burgh’s five requests of him before our imminent demise.
1) Go to an ATM, take out all your money, and give it to us. It’s not going to be any use after Wednesday but we enjoy origami and $20 bills work great for making swans.
2) If one of us suffers acute kidney failure in the next few hours give us both of yours. You can easily survive without any for the next 24 hours.
3) Tell your spouse/partner they have a free pass to indulge any hidden sexual desires they have with us after Wednesday. They’ll be no sinning happening because the Apocalypse will come first but it might provide them some comfort if they just happened to be trapped in a highly oppressive relationship with a religious nutter.
4) Sign your now worthless Steelers season pass over to us so we can at least pretend we had one even though there are no more games to see. Obviously.
5) Finally, pray for us because after Wednesday you will never see us again.
Has Harold Camping returned from the dead, and does Pat Robertson know about this too. Time for a post-rapture looting party I guess.