Rex Tillerson To Do Conan-Inspired ‘Fucking Moron’ Tour This Summer

After learning via tweet that he has been fired from his position at the State Department, Rex Tillerson has announced he will follow the path Conon O’Brien took after he was rudely dismissed from the Tonight Show.

“If it’s good enough for Team Coco, it’s good enough for me.”

The former Secretary of State’s tour will be modeled after Conan’s road shows with just Tillerson on stage shooting the breeze and calling Donald Trump a fucking moron ‘a whole heck of a lot’.

“It’s R-rated so don’t bring the kids. Fuck it. Bring the kids.”

Tillerson says the shows will be mostly impromptu, but he is writing some original scripted material. He admits he doesn’t understand proper joke structure very well, but doesn’t think that’s going to matter much.

“A horse went into a bar and said ‘This President is an insecure ass-wipe’ [HOLD 15 MINS FOR APPLAUSE]”

The shows are expected to take place across the United States over the summer.

“I just need a few weeks to grow the beard out then this old dog is hitting the road.”

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