Rick Perry Figures Out He’s Not Head Of The Department Of Energy Drinks

There were awkward exchanges at the Department of Energy (DOE) today as director Rick Perry met with scientists yet again to deliver a long discourse on stimulant beverages.

The confusion was finally resolved when it became clear to them that Perry believed he had been appointed Secretary for Energy Drinks all this time.

To Perry’s credit DOE scientists said they were impressed by the knowledge of the subject he has displayed over the past couple of years, including being able to recall the ingredients of Redbull and Monster Energy from memory.

Unfortunately Perry’s command of the potential side effects of energy drinks is irrelevant as that falls under the remit of the FDA if anything.

When informed of the true purview of the agency he led, Perry simply muttered “oh boy”.

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