Roy Moore Disgusted To Learn How Old Capitol Hill Interns Are

US Senate candidate for Alabama Roy Moore was said to be hugely disappointed today after learning how old the interns who work there over the summer are.

“Some of them look like they are already in their twenties. Gross!”

He had been looking forward to moving in on some tasty young girls who’d be working for him for free, but says it’s all ruined for him now.

“What about the middle school and junior high students who dream of getting into politics? Don’t they deserve the same opportunities?”

Moore’s mood lightened, however, when he learned how accessible the Gallery Place and Crystal City shopping malls would be from his office should he be elected.

“At least that’s something!”

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