The Washington DC area is effectively closed off today as highways are clogged with outgoing traffic in all lanes. All flights out are fully booked and incoming aircraft are turning around. The cause of the mass exodus is believed to be a rumor that both Trump sons are “cocked and loaded”.

“People simply stopped what they were doing and got straight into their cars.”

It is not known at the present time if “cocked and loaded” refers to them carrying rifles or something else, but people are taking no chances.

“Really we should have left in early 2017.”

Anyone encountering Eric or Don Jr. is advised to act with extra caution above and beyond the normal level of caution their smug grins inspire.

“Do not interact with them if at all possible, or any of their relatives.”