Sergei Lavrov, the Russian Foreign Minister, has arrived at the White House to conduct President Trump’s year-end performance review. Speaking to the press, Lavrov said he didn’t want to pre-empt the outcome, but he expected it to be favorable.

“He is one of our most outstanding employees.”

The review still has to be signed off on by Vladimir Putin, though he is expected to rely on Lavrov’s judgement as in previous years. This year’s evaluation is seen to be especially critical as Putin has to decide whether to renew Trump’s contract for another four years, or seek a replacement.

“President Trump can take comfort in the fact that he is viewed by Moscow as the most qualified stooge around by a large margin.”

Once he’s completed his work at the White House, Lavrov will then head to the Senate to conduct the performance reviews of Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham.