As America bade farewell to the late Senator John McCain, Sarah Palin promised today to carry on his legacy, a task she says falls to her as his handpicked VP nominee. She also apologized for not attending the funeral, which she said was a result of her invitation obviously being lost in the mail.
“It’s not surprising that mail gets lost on the way here from the lower 48. It’s soooooooo far, unlike the Kremlin which totally blocks the light from reaching my backyard.”
She vowed to carry on McCain’s legacy, which she plans to get stuck into straight away.
“Soooooo first I’ll get myself elected to his seeeeet in the Senate and then I’ll take care of all these Bills he was working with, though why he only worked with people called Bill seems a little strange. I mean what’s wrong with working with someone called Mark or even Derek? But I can’t ask him now. Soooooooo sad!”
Palin said she shares much in common with McCain, in particular when it comes to suffering.
“I mean you know he was stuck in the Hanoi Hilton for five years. But how bad can it have been? Jeez, I mean that’s not even as bad as a Super 8, and if you want to know what torture really is try a Red Roof Inn in Anchorage or being questioned about your reading material by Katie Couric on national TV. I mean I’m lucky I made it out alive. Jeez and jeez again!”