Saudi Leadership Quietly Resumes Cutting Journalists Up Alive

(Riyadh) Following a ‘stressful few weeks’ where things were ‘touch-and-go’ following the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, the Saudi Government has quietly resumed its policy of cutting up its critics while they are still alive.

“Thankfully common sense has prevailed over hysteria.”

The leader of the hit squad that captured, strangled, and dismembered Khashoggi breathed a sign of relief, after previously being told to use up all his vacation and sick time.

“For a while there I thought I and my bonesaw would be permanently laid off!”

But Saudi leader and Jared-Kushner-best-bud Mohammad bin Salman said enough time had passed that it should be fine to get things back to normal again.

“Clearly people were upset, but not all that upset.”

His nevertheless cautioned that they resume their work with attracting too much attention.

“Start with local journalists who are critical of us, and work back up to the Washington Post level slowly.”

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