Savvy Facebook User Exploits National Tragedy To Unfriend People He Didn’t Like Anyway

The painful events in Dallas have led to a lot of discussion about where we stand as a country, and just how unified or polarized we are. But less well known is the opportunity they have provided local environmental consultant Trevor Deacon to unload unwanted FB friends without the awkwardness that comes with doing it in the absence of a huge story that is tearing the public asunder.

“It’s much easier when something like this happens – just locate some careless comment they made and issue a status update that you can’t be friends with anyone who could be so insensitive.”

Most importantly, according to Trevor, it solves a common problem that can occur when you unfriend someone because you just don’t like them anymore for no particular reason.

“If I unfriend someone out of the blue they might notice and start complaining to the friends we had in common. But by unfriending them over a careless comment about a horrifying event that is traumatizing the country, I maintain the moral high ground.”

Even if they don’t make a politically incorrect comment, Trevor says you can still shame and ostracize them so long as they post something lighthearted in the immediate aftermath of the disaster.

“All you need to do is reply ‘I can’t even’ to their amusing cat video posted while other people they don’t know are suffering. Then delete them with a clear conscience.”

Trevor is well aware that the same tactic could in principle be used against him, which is he never lets his guard down.

“I’m careful never to contribute to any public debate on solemn issues until such time as I’ve gathered the evidence I need to start clearing house.”

Though it may be too late now to convincingly use this latest horrible event to unload undesirable Facebook friends, Trevor says not to worry, as there will soon be another polarizing catastrophe you can exploit to shame people for not responding to it in the exact manner you believe they should.

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