Saying it was bound to come out sooner or later, the Seal of the Commonwealth of Virginia has admitted to regularly blacking up during its long history stretching back to the Virginia Convention of 1776,

“In my defense, I’ve yet to do it today.”

It also argued that it felt coerced into blacking up in order to ‘fit in’ with the state government it represents.

“When everyone else is doing it, it’s hard to say no.”

Its initial argument that it was simply trying to honor its favorite album, Michael Jackson’s Thriller, was dismissed as implausible given the crude racist nature of the blacked-up seal.

“Everyone knows exactly what this Seal was thinking when it chose to look like that.”