Clearly hoping it would make the assembled press forget about the Comey firing, Sean Spicer strode into the White House briefing room today wearing nothing but a novelty headband comprising of an apple and an arrow that appeared to have passed through his head.

“Now I know you have some burning questions, so fire away!”

Spicer was disappointed, however, when all the questioned focused on President Trump’s abrupt dismissal of FBI Director James Comey just days after he requested more support to investigate Russian influence on the election.

“Didn’t you catch my junk before I got behind the podium? Surely you have some questions about that?”

But despite his pleading and an offer to do an Irish jig in the buff, reporters refused to be swayed from their laser-like focus on the larger issue at hand.

“Hey, guys, check out how loud my armpit farts are!”

Whereas before today the press had given Spicer the benefit of the doubt and assumed his antics were due to incompetence, they considered this incident far too calculating and clearly intended to distract from other serious issues.