Secret Service Requests Trump Be More Specific In Future Calls To Murder His Opponent

Image credit: 'Secret Service..." by Jcs27 via Commons license CC BY 3.0.

Following their terse acknowledgement on twitter of Donald Trump’s thinly-veiled suggestion that Hillary Clinton could be stopped with violence, the Secret Service have confirmed that they have asked Trump to be more specific next time.

“We explained it would make our job of protecting the nominees much easier. He was very understanding.”

Examples of what the Secret Service would like to see in Trump’s next call for political assassination are time, date, as well as the number of people he wants to carry out the operation.

“In many ways a barely-concealed dog whistle for lone wolves to kill the Democratic nominee at a time and place of their own choosing is our worst nightmare.”

They added that if Trump wanted to go the extra mile for them he could also ask the killers not to wear too much body armor and refrain from using fragmentation grenades.

“That way our agents will have a fighting chance if it comes down to a shootout. But it’s entirely up to Mister Trump. We know we’re asking a lot.”

The Secret Service reiterated that it was not their wish to interfere in the election or single out the Republican nominee, and they only made the request because it was directly related to their mission.

“We’d ask the same of Secretary Clinton if she were to start issuing calls for murderous violence as part of her campaign strategy.”

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