(Pittsburgh, PA)  With self-driving cars now a familiar sight for Pittsburghers as their testing phase continues, the city’s famed jitney drivers have surprised everyone with the news that they have rolled out a fully-functional driverless service.

Local jitney drivers say they will always be there to fulfill the transportation needs in neglected areas of the city, and that includes making the latest in automotive technology available.

“Just look for empty early-1990s Crown Vics with a shitload of hi-tech stuff on the roof in Giant Eagle parking lots across the East End and the South Side.”

They say embracing driverless technology makes perfect sense as it allows them to operate multiple vehicles, while reserving personal service for elderly clients who may need some help carrying groceries.

“Not always being physically there to get shot at is also nice.”

When asked if the self-driving jitneys would – like was the case with Ubers – be free initially, the answer was a resounding ‘hell, no’.