The manager of the cloakroom at the US Senate has assured moderate Republican senators that there will be plenty of room for them to check their spines this week as they serve as jurors in the impeachment trial of President Trump.

“We’ve opened up extra space so you won’t have to leave your spines out in the cold.”

The only request is that they arrive early with their spines already extracted from their bodies in order to speed up the process.

“We will have an awful lot of spines to check in addition to the usual load of heavy winter coats.”

Senators checking their spines will be given a number ticket which can be used to retrieve the spines as a later date.

“Though we anticipate most of you will just leave them here for good.”

Unfortunately Lindsey Graham’s spine, which he checked after President Trump took office, was mislaid during a cleanup and is now probably in a landfill somewhere.

“To be honest it didn’t look like much of a spine to begin with, so it’s no great loss.”

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