Sesame Street was thrown into chaos today on news that one of its well-known residents, Cookie Monster, is not vaccinated against COVID despite leading everyone to believe that he was. With vaccination rates believed to be at or near 100% in the progressive neighborhood, the denizens of Sesame Street said they felt safe, until now. Elmo, who only recently was allowed to get the jab due to his young age, said he was particularly upset over the reckless disregard for immuno-compromised residents like Mr. Snuffleupagus.
“You don’t just get vaccinated for yourself. You do it for all of us.”
Elmo points out that Mr. Snuffleupagus has a number of risk factors including moderate obesity and asthma. Speaking through his close friend Big Bird, Snuffleupagus said his was disappointed to learn someone could be so irresponsible, though he assured everyone he didn’t believe the risk of exposure to him personally was high.
“Fortunately I have a longstanding habit of social distancing and self-isolating in a cave that precedes the current pandemic.”
Cookie Monster initially tried to claim that he never actually said he was immunized, but the fact that he followed local protocols for those who were is viewed as tantamount to declaring that he had gotten the jab. Fellow Sesame Street resident Grover slammed his neighbor over his conduct.
“You lied to everyone, Cookie.”
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