Somali Pirates Demand Ransom And Tom Hanks Biopic In Exchange For Oil Tanker

In the first such instance since 2012, pirates have taken command of an oil tanker off the Somali coast.

They are holding the crew hostage and are said to be demanding an undisclosed ransom as well as a Tom Hanks biopic, in which they would like to play themselves.

When told that would be very difficult they said they are prepared to be flexible and would settle for Brad Pitt.

“But not Mel Gibson – they were very clear about that.”

The demand could cause problems for Hollywood as the ship’s crew is Sri Lankan, so having Hanks or Pitt play the Captain would expose the film industry to further charges of whitewashing the stories of people of color.

A last minute proposal to use Parks & Recreation star Aziz Ansari was also seen as problematic as it has not been established if the crew are Sinhalese or ethnically Tamil like Ansari, whose family come from India and who is more commonly associated with comedy in any case.

Critics say this is all a result of the making of the Academy-award nominated movie Captain Phillips, which they say was irresponsible as it only encourages more pirating.

They cite as evidence rumors that the pirates kept shouting “I am the Captain now!” over and over once they had gained control of the ship in this latest incident.

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