Roger Stone has complained to the parlor where he got his infamous Nixon back tattoo, after it started to degrade recently. The artist responsible said he was perplexed by what was happening to his work.

“I’ve never known ink to leak under the skin like this.”

The distorted tattoo now resembles three distinct images, with the non-Nixonian ones bearing a striking resemblance to legendary Washington Post reporters Rob Woodward and Carl Bernstein.

“It’s uncanny.”

The tattoo artist confirmed that he would not be able to remove the new tattoos, which appear to be slowing but surely crowding out the original image.

“Sorry, Roger, but they’re just not going away.”