(Pittsburgh, PA) In an unusual twist, the Pittsburgh Steelers have emerged victorious from their first playoff game against the Miami Dolphins before half-time was reached.
The game got off to an inauspicious start but the Dolphins were soon in trouble, and displayed signs of extreme hypothermia which was misinterpreted as not being very good at football.
However, as the Steelers offense racked up score after score, they became suspicious that something was seriously amiss. It was then that Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger realized that none of the Miami defensive players were actually moving any more.
Medical teams were called onto the field and confirmed that, sadly, all the Dolphins had passed away in the cold. This led to a long period of confusion as NFL officials consulted the rulebook to determine what happens when one team expires during regulation time.
It was determined that Miami had forfeited the game by succumbing to the elements and therefore the Steelers were the winner by default. Coach Mike Tomlin paid his respects to his Florida opponents by saying they fought valiantly and that it was very cold indeed, with even the Steelers and their fans feeling slightly uncomfortable for a few seconds.