While the efficacy of chloroquine in treating COVID-19 remains to be seen – as there are both anecdotal reports of successes as well as counterexamples and worrying side effects – its utility as a stupid diagnostic is beyond doubt according to a new study published today.

“Our findings have shown the correlation between a scientifically unfounded belief in chloroquine as a miracle drug and intense stupid is perfect.”

Furthermore, its use as a stupid diagnostic doesn’t require local medical centers to have stocks of the anti-malaria agent on hand.

“You need only mention its name within earshot of the subject to get a definitive diagnosis.”

Clinicians are advised they can assemple a simple test kit from common materials like a pencil and paper to record what the patient says when the subject of chloroquine is mentioned.

“Just give them a point each time they say ‘inalienable’, ‘hoax’, ‘fake news’ or ‘end the shutdown’. If they score more than zero that’s a true positive.”

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