Sun To Protest Trump By Symbolically Darkening Heartland For Two Minutes

Though the Sun hates interfering in the details of planets – preferring instead to focus on gravitational orbits and providing heat and light – the President’s recent remarks about Charlottesville have proved too much for the star at the center of our solar system to ignore.

As a result, the Sun has indicated it will be protesting by symbolically withholding light from the American heartland for just over two minutes during the day on August 21st. NASA scientists say no actual harm should result, but that doesn’t mean it won’t have an effect.

“Though all it leads to is a brief lowering of temperatures by a few degrees, these events are often assigned huge significance, which is what the Sun is banking on.”

The Sun has announced the path of the protest in advance, which focuses on States that went for Trump in the 2016 election, such as Idaho, much of the heartland, Tennessee, and South Carolina.

“And parts of Oregon and Colorado too because that’s just easier for me. I hope they understand.”

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