Survivor Of Bowling Green Tragically Dies In Sweden Terror Attack

(Bowling Green, KY) In a cruel twist of fate, a former resident of Bowling Green, KY – who survived the horrific attack that tore that city apart earlier this month – has tragically died under similar circumstances in Sweden.

Jason Vargus was playing Pokémon Go when he narrowly escaped death during the Bowling Green Massacre, during which scores of immigrant terrorists – who had arrived there due to the absence of appropriate travel bans – machine-gunned large segments of the population to death.

After surviving Bowling Green by playing dead for ten hours amidst the corpses, the young man felt so blessed to have a new lease on life that he vowed to live it to the fullest by seeing the world.

Unfortunately, that fateful desire took him to Sweden, where he would pay with his life in another terrible attack on February 17.

His family ask that people leave them alone at this time to grieve for Jason, unless they have any concrete details about the attack which are proving very hard to come by.

83 Comments on "Survivor Of Bowling Green Tragically Dies In Sweden Terror Attack"

  1. Talking about FAKE NEWS… seriously?

    • Humor. Satire. Making fun of. Not seriously telling the country that it really happened and expecting to be believed as our current administration does.

      • elaine hammerschlag | February 21, 2017 at 5:22 pm |

        then whats the fucking point of even posting this stupid shit? seriously, people have nothing better to do then make up shit about people dying? wish they would for real

        • Labeled as SATIRE, right at the top. Perhaps you should read more than the headlines. Might also learn to express yourself without profanity, especially when you don’t know what you’re being fucking profane about

        • “than” elaine, second one should be “than” darling.

        • Philip Tucker | February 22, 2017 at 9:56 am |

          And we wish you would die and spare us your idiocy, Elaine dear. Do you kiss your mother with that filthy mouth? Profanity is the refuge of the unintelligent.

    • Its called SATIRE….look it up

    • Apparently, you believe anything?

    • OMG there’s no hope for us, is there?

    • Robert Theed | February 21, 2017 at 6:17 pm |

      “A satirical blog serving western Pennsylvania and beyond.”

      Right there at the top…

    • Philip Tucker | February 22, 2017 at 9:53 am |

      Dude- you’re a prime example of the type of person who voted for Orange Face. Just REACT to a headline without reading ANY of the content.

    • Professor Lassen | February 22, 2017 at 1:40 pm |

      So here is an example of “Fake News” that confuses honest people as to what to believe. Obviously the only use for this site is humor. Perhaps, Fake Humor.

    • deborah starman | February 22, 2017 at 11:07 pm |

      It’s ALTERNATIVE NEWS!

  2. The clue is in the Page title
    “BREAKING BURGH
    A SATIRICAL BLOG SERVING WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA AND BEYOND”

  3. Amy Zupancic | February 20, 2017 at 1:12 pm |

    Enri, this is satire. Perhaps you should look up that word.

  4. That’s why it’s called satire muttonhead.

  5. Enri is sadly more proof that trump supporters are stupid.

  6. bill murdock | February 20, 2017 at 4:37 pm |

    In lieu of flowers, please send smoked salmon.

  7. We the people of Bowling Green shall NEVER FORGET!!!
    Our world will never be the same. BG used to be one of the safest places in the US
    to live. I still have trouble sleeping at night.

  8. Enri, this “FaKe News” was announced by Kellyanne Conway (Bowling Green) and by Donald Trump while campaigning in Florida this past week (Sweden) Both stories have been debunked and are now running around the joke circuit. I think this story is really, really funny.

  9. Omg fantastic! I laughed so hard! If it weren’t so terrifying this whole white house debacle would be hilarious… HHhis was great tho thanks to the author!! 😂

  10. Is it true Atlanta city officials will be attending the funeral?

  11. Gillian MacGregor | February 20, 2017 at 6:17 pm |

    donations of raw herring can be left at your local IKEA store to show solidarity with Sweden. ABBA will perform a benefit concert at Bowling Green, if they are able to locate it. Does the horror never end?

    • I’m donating meatballs, since they seem to go so well with a few of the meatheads here.

    • Thanks for making me laugh out loud. I’m thinking it could be the fish – – I loved H2G2 for making me lol, – and there was the gratitude, eventually, for all the fish — so, I’m, uh, just sayin’

  12. Lisa A Mathis | February 20, 2017 at 6:34 pm |

    Why is this even part of a satire or thinking it’s a funny story to make up,……..Just plain weird and these sites are a waste of time and energy… This was stupid….

  13. Enri
    you must be a trump supporter, you believe anything that is on the Internet and anything that comes out of his mouth, WAKE UP!!!! it is satire for Pete’s sake!

    • Lisa – It’s not “part of a satire,” it is satire. The story is based on comments by #45 and his staff regarding Bowling Green, Ky and Sweden. Humor is needed in times such as these. Why are you reading and commenting on this site if you feel it’s a waste of time and energy?

  14. Please tell me it wasn’t Frederick Douglas 🙁

  15. In lieu of flowers please send ersatz money to help bury the other survivors of this senseless tragedy. Well it’s senseless to Henry.

  16. Jason is survived by his parents, his dog, Roughy, and $250.000 in college debt which he will unfortunately be unable to pay now that he has perished in Sweden.

  17. Stupid always call things they don’t get stupid.

  18. Enri, you are a moron. Get away from the keyboard.

  19. Amy Safeunderdark | February 21, 2017 at 4:13 am |

    Really?

    Does nobody get it?
    Everybody makes fun of everybody, spreading this new, funny or not.
    without realising what’s really going on, laughing about the stupidity of a chosen president, who apparently doesn’t know what he’s doing..
    Does nobody see the implication of this?

    All sorts of stories go around now..
    Apparently he can’t read.. is that true? I don’t know.. but it was in the news..
    hey EVERYTHING WAS IN THE NEWS!

    Don’t you see? Don’t you get it? look for the facts they are there..
    Hiding behind the fake news..
    Yes the president claimed fake news, and generating even more at will..

    and everybody is laughing their socks off..

    Well, don’t be surprised if at onetime things go really bad and everybody panics
    “How have we missed that??” well, this is how..

    Calling someone else a moron, or stupid, or ever worse..

    You! Yes YOU are the stupid moron you help spreading this type of news and
    are dividing this nation into Pro and Con..
    Made the laughing stock in the whole world!
    We used to be great, saving the world.. and look at us now?
    we might needing saving next ..

    Well, let me tell you one thing:

    I never voted for trump,
    nor for Clinton for that matter, as I believe she isn’t fit to lead this country either.

    But, our president is our president, that is one thing that is undeniable!
    You may like him, you may like him not.
    But don’t let that divide us, NEVER and keep a close look at what he does, or doesn’t
    Look away from the smokescreen he’s blowing up..
    And pay attention to what he does.

    Yes, I do not trust him, but he’s the only president I got.
    So he is my president, I’ll give him that.. and that’s the only thing he got at the moment..

    He yet has to earn my respect..
    Don’t let this great nation be divided, slandered, laughed at..

    He’s going to make America great again?
    Still have to see that!
    He made is even worse!

    thank you for reading.

  20. Was this last comment supppsed to be satire?
    Or some sort of Faulkner stream of consciousness from a mentally confused person?

  21. the attacker has been tentatively identified as a two-year-old Syrian refugee with explosives in his Pampers. The child was previously thought to have been washed up on a Mediterranean Beach. The identity of the baby on the beach was apparently misidentified.

  22. Well, je suis something or other then

  23. Jacquelyn Vazquez | February 21, 2017 at 3:33 pm |

    You ppl are SICK we will see who laughs last!! Take your toys your Kleenex and your BAD SATIRE and go home!! You are making FOOLS OF YOURSELVES!!😂😂😂

    • We are home, dear. This is also the country for those that actually differentiate between real news and BS, study science and understand satire. I know you may think the rest of us don’t belong here but, fortunately for us, you are actually the minority.

  24. Pat OMG – this is satire!! see the main page – “BREAKING BURGH
    A SATIRICAL BLOG SERVING WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA AND BEYOND”.
    And people who support Trump share this? My god we all know you are ignorant, but this shows a heightened level of DUMB.

  25. The OP needs to research the definition of “satire.” This pathetic, humorless piece ain’t it.

  26. Marin Swimmer | February 21, 2017 at 6:13 pm |

    Also, Sweden Survivor tragically dies in Bowling Green Attack! It’s a fact! OK, an alternative fact….

  27. So, so good.

  28. Excellent satire, very clever and inspiring others to show off their satirical chops. However I find it disheartening that people of obvious intelligence must resort to name calling. I don’t care how smart you are or think you are, if someone doesn’t get it, let it be. No amount of cajoling or insulting is going to change that, especially if they are on an extreme side of an issue. Rise above folks, you made your point…

  29. It’s really quite sad that so many are responding to a clever bit of writing with such venom. It appears that they either never pay attention to items in the news, or, swallow the gibberish of our president and his aiders & abetters without realizing that he and Kellanne are the greatest of liars, oops, should say purveyors of alternative facts

  30. Please tell me it was Milo Yiannopoulos.

  31. Omg my entertainment tonight reading these comments.

    • deborah starman | February 22, 2017 at 11:10 pm |

      No, I heard it was one of the people that was cheering when the World Trade Center fell. Talk about Karma!

  32. I can’t believe how many people has been trolled by the absurd!

  33. Valéria Camargo | February 22, 2017 at 2:57 am |

    🙂

  34. Jentallygirl | February 22, 2017 at 7:09 am |

    To those asking (??) the question: the point of writing this satirical piece is to highlight the sheer idiotic lunacy of our President. That should be obvious. And as for the Sweeden attack, while I mourn the loss of Jason, I am comforted that IKEA is still a safe harbor, a beacon of hope. They would make great shelters, fully stocked with comfy bedding and sofas, and lots of delicious meatballs. Oh the humanity….
    #savethemeatballs #neverikea 😂❤

  35. First of all: TOO FREAKING FUNNY!! And the “Je suis something or other” comment just KILLED it!

    Secondly: When “that man” (who’s name is not spoken in this house) & his fan base ragged on Obama for imaginary reasons for 8 yrs, WE LAUGHED. We’re now called “snowflakes”, as if we aren’t tough enough to take it. Well, now the shoe is on the other foot….& only one month in, people ALREADY can’t take what they dished out for 8 yrs.

    Well, a very large accumulation of snowflakes is called an “avalanche”. If you can’t see the irony, or handle the satire….suck it up, cupcake.

    A life w/out laughter isn’t worth living.

  36. Oh Trump people, you are just like your boss…idiots !
    Heard of the word satire!
    #JeSuisSweden
    Lmao!

  37. Wow! How did you find out about the Swedish attack?!

    https://twitter.com/wikileaks/status/688999781193117696

  38. So funny. If you don’t laugh in these situations you cry.

    Feel for you America, way down here in New Zealand.

  39. I died too in the attack. Too bad about the thousands I owe the IRS

  40. … I am Swedish. I sort of live in this country. It is quite open and we can talk about any opinion that we might have. It also means this is not a good country for cover ups, since most things get out eventually. These big “cover ups” referred to by a certain Orange Man, his crew and fan base, consist mostly of fake news, created by trolls, or opinions aired by a minority of the Swedish population, who are fed up with the system.

    Trust me. I live here. The picture of Sweden painted by Mr Orange and his friends does not at all match the reality.

    There are some issues with immigration, but it’s neither as bad, nor the same issues as the ones invented. In Sweden right now we are more concerned with the fact that one of the most powerful countries in the world has chosen Mr Orange for president. He is quite insane, isn’t he? And Sweden has had its fair share of bad prime ministers, including the present one, but none of them has been half as strange or half as insane as Mr Orange.

    Or… actually… in the fifteen hundreds we had a king who might have been Mr Orange’s equal when it comes to insanity. Erik the fourteenth! Check him up!

    But on the other hand: back then kings weren’t elected…

  41. Jo, Another Swede here agreeing with you. Mr BJ Mann might be one of the trolls russians pays for spreading disinformation? So much garbage I won’t even take time to read it.

  42. Flora Green | March 3, 2017 at 11:16 pm |

    Too bad that people who have writting talent don’t put it to better use than to write garbage like this.

  43. Mr B J Mann won’t be available to comment anymore as he has been offered and accepted a high-profile position in Washington DC.

Comments are closed.