Saying their endorsement of President Trump goes well beyond mere lip-service, Taliban leaders today announced an intense door-knocking campaign to help get the vote out for their preferred candidate.
“Hopefully the presence of our elite fighters on the doorsteps of Ohio and Pennsylvania can win over some hearts and minds.”
Though the Taliban normally view all Presidential candidates in the US as imperialist dogs whom they want nothing to do with, they say this time is different.
“Four more years of this would be most welcome indeed.”
They don’t plan to engage in complex talking points with the voters, however, as they say simple appeals work best when dealing with people who are not inclined to otherwise agree with you.
“Often just reminding them that a bloodthirsty medieval organization has their home address is sufficient!”
HELP KEEP THE SATIRE COMING!