The world awoke to a more uncertain future today as supercouple Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom confirmed through their agents that they are taking loving space, and appealed for calm.

Unfortunately this proved impossible as tens of millions of anxious Americans were left wondering exactly what ‘taking loving space’ meant.

“It is a conscious uncoupling – in which case I’ll need a week off work – or just some time apart to gain perspective?”

Others question if this was all a big mistake given that it happened right after they were seen together at the Academy Awards.

“Could it be they passed on the wrong press release and they meant to say they’re happily engaged?”