Tesla Unveils Improved More Energy Efficient Planet Earth

Hot on the heels of its founder being named TIME Person of the Year, disruptive company Tesla has unveiled  a brand new Planet Earth that runs on lithium batteries. CEO Elon Musk said this represents an revolutionary advance in planetary design.

“This new Earth is cleaner and more energy efficient, despite being a full 20% bigger.”

Powered by Tesla’s own battery designs residing in the core, the new planet eliminates the need for fossil fuels by running purely on solar energy.

“We accomplished this by building it with solar panels instead of rock, which seemed a dumb choice of planetary material.”

Those wishing to move to Planet ‘Tearth’, as it’s been nicknamed, will be invited to join a waiting list at a cost of 10 million dollars. But despite the seemingly incredible achievement, many Tesla watchers were unimpressed.

“This is just another stunt to distract us from all the dumb stuff Musk does.”

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