Thousands Of Rich Kids Devastated To Learn They’re Dumb As Shit

As the full extent of the college bribery scandal becomes clear – in which the rich and famous paid to have their milquetoast progeny mis-represented as little Einsteins and accomplished athletes – many are feeling sorry for the deserving children of ordinary people whose places were taken.

However, there are other victims that need to be remembered in this – the children of the rich and famous themselves.

“These poor entitled young adults were led to believe they were smart when in fact they are dumb as shit.”

Psychologists say the damage is far worse than the usual insults and hurt feelings one experiences growing up.

“It’s one thing to be called an idiot by your peers. It’s another to have the FBI document what a clumsy airhead you are in breath-taking detail.”

Authorities have decided not to prosecute the students, only their parents, as they say they have been punished enough.

“These wretched creatures got to find out their parents are criminals and that they can’t swim or hit a ball to save their life all on the same day. Harsh.”

8 Comments on "Thousands Of Rich Kids Devastated To Learn They’re Dumb As Shit"

  1. O like to see all students get in on their own and at least pay for some, if not all of college expenses.I did and those were tough,but enjoyable, years.
    I also like the true story. Of a billionaires son that honestly graduated #1
    Student in his class.Because he earned it!I think that he wanted to prove what he is capable of, and not just some “rich kid”.

  2. Its comforting to know that our rich and powerful have access to the finest schools. One never knows when one of them may become president!

  3. Hey- it’s not like this hasn’t been going on for years! All they had to do was “donate” to their alma mater and the kids got in, too.

  4. I think they should be kicked out for getting in fraudulently and can reapply if they wish to, whoever was waitlisted should get the spot!

  5. Margarita Davila | March 15, 2019 at 12:08 am | Reply

    I went back to school and finished my MA at 50. Without anyone’s help or $$.
    They disgust me.

  6. Scott Amundsen | March 13, 2019 at 12:41 pm | Reply

    I am spitting nails. I paid for my own education; this entailed working a full-time job AND going to school full-time. I did take out a small loan but that was easy enough to repay after I graduated.

  7. I’m curious to know how those students who were fraudulently admitted to prestigious universities fared once they got there. But I probably need not worry. They could pay others to take their exams and write their papers and bribe professors to improve their grades. No worries for the rich.

  8. Johanne Bellehumeur | March 12, 2019 at 9:54 pm | Reply

    They cheated the smart young intellectual who where denied a place at the university.

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