Threat To Alabama Upgraded To Chisel Tip Sharpie

Residents of the State of Alabama have been advised to pack up and leave immediately, after projections of how they will be affected by a hurricane formation off the coast of the United States darkened dramatically.

“Alabama is now facing a category chisel tip sharpie.”

Earlier predictions only mentioned a fine point sharpie, and an ultrafine point before that, indicating that the threat is growing rapidly.

“At this rate Alabama could soon be facing a chisel tip red sharpie together with neon highlighting.”

Officials are also watching out for stick drawings of Alabamians with their horror represented by big circles for their mouths, and maybe some upside-down stickers of houses and farm animals. But they remain optimistic.

“Hopefully this frightening sharpie line can be erased.”

Sadly, however, everyone outside of the Yellowhammer State knows sharpie is indeliable.

“If you have any thoughts and prayers left over after August’s rash of mass shootings please send them to Alabama in this their time of need.”

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