A young Rudy Giuliani time traveling from late 1980s stopped by to check in on his 74-year-old self today, hoping to find himself basking in the glow of his former achievements. Young Giuliani was pleased to learn about the important role he would play during 9/11, though his mood soon soured.
“But then you have to go and ruin it by bringing it up at every opportunity, and now this!”
As the elder Giuliani tried to introduce his younger self to the President and all other people he was now working with, tension quickly developed between them.
“These are the kind of schmucks you are supposed to oppose, idiot!”
Young Giuliani was especially angry at some of the things his older self had said about legal matters.
“You’re a freaking attorney who brought down the Mob and now you’re spouting this shit?”
Older Giuliani pleaded with his young self to let him show him some ideas he had to prevent the President being impeached for obstruction of justice, but the younger Giuliani was not interested.
“Please just stop. Now excuse me as I have to go back in time and kill myself.”