(London, UK) Mountains of fruit in perfectly rotten condition earmarked for President Trump’s visit to the United Kingdom will now have to be disposed of according to sources there, after the visit was cancelled.
“They were in great shape with mold and maggots and everything – thanks a bunch Trump!”
In addition to the wasted fruit, large amounts of carefully stored human waste will also have to be tossed, but not, as originally hoped, at the United States President.
“What am I supposed to do with the hundreds of balloons of my piss I’ve amassed over the past year? Michael Gove’s only worth ten at best.”
Prince Harry is being urged to invite Trump to his wedding, so the fruit can still be put to good use.
“I’ll be there with rice to throw at the Royal couple, and my dog’s feces for you know know.”