Trump Administration Distributes Coronavirus Test Kits

Even though it’s definitely going to go away on its own because of his amazing shutdown, President Trump announced that he has made test kits for the coronavirus available as an extra precaution. He added that it would not be a large financial burden on taxpayers either thanks to his immense buiness acumen.

“The experts told me to go with Fisher Scientific but I got them way cheaper from Fisher-Price #ArtOfTheDeal”

The kit will be distrubuted to health centers across the country, and is also available at Target and Kohls stores nationwide. In addition to detecting the presence of coronavirus, the kit may be used to treat boo boos and midday tantrums. Trump said those without the kit may still be able to test themselves and their families for the coronavirus with what they have at home.

“If you already own Operation the tweezers from that work just as well.”

Help a poor hardworking satire site out –

10 Comments on "Trump Administration Distributes Coronavirus Test Kits"

  1. The kits had three components but some of the components were producing an inconclusive result for many public health labs using the test. On Thursday, the agency announced that labs with two of three working components could go ahead and use the C.D.C. tests, and it broadened the criteria for testing to include people who had traveled to countries with coronavirus infections in addition to China. But positive results still needed to be reconfirmed by the C.D.C. in Atlanta, and labs with only one working component could not conduct tests at all. “Because of these limited resources, we could not get some of our patients tested,” said Dr. William Schaffner, an infectious disease specialist at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville.

  2. Ruth ferguson | March 10, 2020 at 1:57 am | Reply

    I can’t quite stop laughing🤣❣

  3. If you have the virus , Trump will suck it out of your lungs and swim to the bottom of the ocean and spit it out ,just one problem, the Demrats will charge him with polluting the ocean and will impeach him once again.

  4. The kit is free but will give you the

  5. Mic the greek | March 9, 2020 at 4:03 pm | Reply

    I got my kit. Thanks Mr. President. You are my hero. Please keep going around shaking hands. In fact make sure you shake hands with Ted Cruz, a loyal supporter, like me.

  6. AmyJo Saxton | March 9, 2020 at 12:31 am | Reply

    I LOVE THIS!!!!

  7. Oh satire. The best type of humoUr indeed.

  8. This is a joke right. Yeah someone is trying to be funny. It ain’t workin’.

  9. Chioswestwood | March 7, 2020 at 5:41 am | Reply

    this is rather amusing – Mike Pence went on and on about this distribution of the test kits yesterday on TV but at least we have some trusted doctors with him now

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