An associate of President Trump, who had believed he was part of the ‘in crowd’, admitted feeling depressed today when asked by a journalist how many times he had met Lev Parnas.

“I’m ashamed to say I’ve never met him.”

The supposed friend of the President said he has been re-evaluating his relationship with the administration in light of recent events, and has concluded he was never really a part of things.

“I mean everyone has met him multiple times except me. Talk about being on the outside!”

It has forced him to accept that he was probably never close with Trump or any of his associates to begin with.

“I remember once mentioning that I felt bad for poor people. That probably did it.”

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